Gentle Night Weaning: Dropping Night Feeds Without Separation

Apr 1
5 min read

Are you starting to consider your options for night weaning?

There’s no right or wrong time to start. Every baby and family is different. Some parents find that night feeds work well for them well into toddlerhood, while others reach a point where dropping some or all feeds feels necessary for one reason or another. And both are okay.

Despite what the sleep training industry often claims, night feeds are not a “bad habit.” In fact, they can be an amazing tool for supporting your baby’s sleep. Night weaning also doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can remove some feeds while keeping others, all while continuing to offer comfort and connection.

If your baby is under 12 months, checking in with a lactation consultant can help ensure night weaning aligns with your feeding goals and baby's nutritional needs.

If you’re considering night weaning, this blog will walk you through key considerations and gentle, responsive tips to make the transition without relying on separation or ignoring your baby’s needs.

Before you start night weaning

Night weaning is a deeply personal decision, yet it’s often marketed as the magic fix for better sleep. The reality is that it’s not always that simple. Many parents feel pressured to night wean for reasons that have little to do with their own needs or their baby’s.

I’ve spoken with countless parents who feel they have to night wean, even when they don’t want to, because they’ve been told it’s the only way to improve their baby’s sleep.

The truth is, this is nuanced. It depends on your little one’s age, temperament, and unique sleep patterns. Sometimes, night weaning reduces wake-ups. Other times, it doesn’t, especially in the short term.

So before making a decision, let’s check in. Are you truly ready to night wean, or are outside influences shaping your choice?

Are You Night Weaning for the Right Reasons?

Before making any changes, ask yourself:

Am I doing this out of fear that it will be harder later?
Am I hoping it will automatically improve sleep?
Have I been told my baby doesn’t “need” night feeds anymore based on their age or weight?
Have I been led to believe that feeding to sleep is a “bad habit” or negative sleep association?
Am I feeling truly done with night feeding, or is this decision being driven by external pressure or fear?

And most importantly, am I prepared to offer comfort in other ways, such as holding or rocking, if my baby still wakes at night?

Also ask yourself, will this change make things easier, or harder for our family?

There’s no right or wrong answer here, but it’s important to make sure this decision feels good to you, and that it’s not just something you’re doing because of outside expectations.

Getting Started with Night Weaning

If you’ve checked in with yourself and feel like yes, you are ready to night wean, here’s how to start:

Prepare Emotionally & Physically

Night weaning is a transition, and transitions go more smoothly with preparation. Here are some ways to make the process easier:

Offer a bedtime snack to support hunger overnight.
Read books about night weaning to introduce the idea.There are some lovely night weaning books available, for example:
-Nursies When the Sun Shines by Katherine C. Havener
-Milkies in the morning by Jennifer Saleem Or, you can make your own book together all about night weaning from bottle or breastfeeding.
Start layering in other sleep associations (like a lovey, shushing, patting) to help shift comfort from feeding to other soothing methods.
Examples of other sleep associations:
Pink or brown noise
Gentle but firm massage/rhythmic squeezing of arms and legs
Humming, shushing or singing
Bum patting or back rubbing
Stroking hair, face, or hands
A lovey or other comfort object

Consistency is key. Any sleep association you decide to layer in should be used consistently for 1-2+ weeks alongside existing ones as they fall asleep before your toddler is likely to have built a strong enough connection between it and sleep.

Talk to them! Simply talk to your toddler about the fact that you will be night weaning soon. Feeding is a relationship and this respects that. The older they are, the more this is likely to assist with the process, but it's advisable at any age.

Be Ready to Coregulate

Just because you’re night weaning doesn’t mean you’re removing comfort completely, it just means you’re shifting it.

Your baby or toddler will have feelings about the change, and that’s completely normal. They’re allowed to be upset while still being supported.

What you need to ask yourself here is, are you in a good place to hold space for their emotions? If not, it might be worth waiting until you feel more ready to navigate those moments.

Here is an easy mindfulness technique you can use in the moment:

Choose a natural object in your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower, plant, tree, clouds or the moon. If there are no natural objects, choose any other object. You could buy a small plant-like substitute to use for mindful observation.
Practice relaxing and using your attention to observe the object.
Pretend you have never seen the object before and look at every detail.

Decide Where to Start Night Weaning

Make a loose plan but also be okay with tweaking based on your family’s needs.

Night weaning doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Choosing one wake-up or stretch of time to adjust first makes the process much more manageable. Here are some gentle ways to start:

Shorten a feed.
Rock instead of nursing.
Delay the feed slightly to lengthen stretches gradually.

Hope this helps!

Dr. Jess

Night weaning isn’t something you have to do at a certain age or stage, it’s something you do when you and your baby are ready. If you need support in making the shift without separation-based sleep training, I’ve got you ⬇️

Looking for a full step-by-step breakdown? Grab my low-cost guide, Gently Night Weaning.

An in-depth, step-by-step guide to support you and your 12m+ little one to night wean or minimise night feeds. Beyond the mechanics, this guide empowers you to prepare, improve sleep quality and protect your bond as you make this big change

A comprehensive resource that walks you through:

✔️ Understanding your and your baby’s readiness

✔️ Preparing emotionally

✔️ Optimizing sleep and overall well-being

✔️ Supporting self-regulation and co-regulation

✔️ Creating a night weaning plan that works for your family

✔️ Night weaning in action

✔️Case studies + resources